THE CURSE OF THE LADY PIRATES!
by ms.brightside92
Summary: This is a Story About the Black Pearl and The men and women that she Controls out of government boarders and across the vast oceans! Sound corny, right? WRONG! Not what happens here, I have a very humorous, twisted, disturbed mind.Okay, So… Jack’s not dea


This is a Story About the Black Pearl and The men and women that she Controls out of government boarders and across the vast oceans! Sound corny, right? WRONG! Not what happens here, I have a very humorous, twisted, disturbed mind.

Okay, So… Jack's not dead yet. Oh, I'm adding more fun Characters to make the story more… entertaining. Because, really all we do is laugh at Jack, Drool over Will (Some do anyway) and Think "Why am I not Elizabeth right now!"

So, Anyway, The Black Pearl Has just left Tortuga and Will is on his way to find Jack And free Elizabeth. But there's something Jack Doesn't know, that there are stow-aways on The Pearl! (AH! OMG!)…. And that is where our story begins.

Jack: "Oh Mr. Gibbs, You better take up captain for a moment, I'm on an urgent Search for my love." He said slightly tipsy.

Gibbs: "Ah? And who might your love be? Would you like the Row boat?"

Jack: "No, I won't need it."

Mr. Gibbs looked Puzzled.

Jack started to turn away, but looked back, annoyed at Gibbs. " Have you ever heard the beautiful name of Mrs. Rum?" He smiled a seductive smile. "I'm going to wish myself a happy death day! Old Davy Hasn't found me yet!"

Jack Stumbled down the latter to the cellar, and went in search for "Mrs. Rum". As he was alone, and drunk, he started to sing a song. Oh, and it was a very lovely song.

Jack: **singing**-" I found me rum in an old hags hat, then me found me in the sack! With that old hag…. In a… hat? No, no…. how its go? I didn't screw her in a hat! Did I? Well, I was in Tortuga… OH SHIT! I FUCKED AN OLD LADY IN A HAT!"

Just then, he heard laughter. He swung around to find what looked like 4 stow-away boys. He felt a bit embarrassed.

One of the Boys: " Was the old lady in the hat fun in the sack? Hmmm?" He's smile was trying to hold back the laughter, but not succeeding.

Jack: "Uhh… I… I don't recall. So, ye be a stow-away… es es…. Es. Lets see there's…. 8 of you?"

Another one of the boys: **laughing**- "No sir…. 4?"

Other Boy: " Yes only 4 of us!"

Last Boy: ….. "wasn't there 5?"

Other Boy: "nope. Only 4."

Jack Seemed confused. " Well, I guess, I could…. Find a place for you on this….. boat thingy. First, Your names please?"

The Boys seemed confused, looking at each other, when finally the first boy said "Yes, of course, our… names. I'm…. Rrrrr… Ron. Right… Ron!"

#2: "I'm….. Ev… I mean…Evans."

#3: "Na… at. Nat. Eww… what an ugly name!" Ron smiled at Jack and smashed Nat's foot.

#4: "I'M HOWTHER!"

Jack: "Howther?"

Howther: "Guh… Yes, its Howard and Arthur. Together! To make one beautiful name! **Sighs**- Howther."

Jack smiled another one of his seductive smiles. He walked over to Ron, smiling even more strangely, ripped off his hat to reveal a most charmingly beautiful girl. They stared at each other for a moment, and she slowly started to move away, which quickly turned into a sprint for the door, but she was stopped by the sound of a gun coming very close to her ear.

Ron: "Hey! What the hell is your problem! That could have seriously injured someone! (meaning me!)"

Jack: "That was kind of the idea." He stumbles a little and points the gun at Ron's head.

"Now, we can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way."

Ron: "What the hell are you talking about! What's the easy way?"

Jack comes a little closer to her making them nose to nose, leader to leader. As he comes closer, She… he… it, moves backwards, soon pushing her against a wall. His hand still has the gun to her head, and her friends are wondering "How the fuck is she going to get out of this one!" Just then, a sudden sparks comes to her eyes, Which means she had been thinking the same thing and came up with a plan, she know what Jack wanted, and she knew how to give it to him, with out have to have sex. (OHH! I said a funny word! GROW UP!)

Ron: **moving even closer to him**- "Oh, Jack, I know what you want." She moves her lips closer to his, almost enough to kiss, but not.

Jack smiles at this and moves closer as well, "Good." He took her by the waist and kissed her.

Ron acted perfectly normal, but what she was thinking was, "EWWW! I might get rabises!" But, she had to do what must be done for her life and her friends, even if it involved making out with a disease infested pirate. She acted as though she was enjoying it, and took his hand with the gun in it, and placed it against the wall, making the gun drop. Then she felt something, and stopped for a moment.

Ron: "Would you kindly move your gun away from me?" She asked.

Jack: "I'm afraid That's not my gun." He did his weird smile again. Ron looked as though she where going to puke, the other giggled, but she went on.

Ron: "Uh… oh." She did her best to smile. "Alright then." She took Jack's shoulder and pushed him down to the floor and bent down, got on top of him, and kissed him. Just as they were making out, Jack heard a click near his forehead. He opened his eyes and looked at Ron and then at the gun in her hand. She took his collar in her strong grip and picked him up from the ground. She looked at him so intensely that she looked like Will having a hang over. Jack, knowing that this look probably isn't the best one, especially if its coming from a woman who has a gun to your head, signaled for her to let him go. She did so, but still had the gun.

Ron: " You will let us stay on the pearl."

Nat: "We know that won't be much of a problem, us being beautiful pirate women." As she said this, she took off her hat, letting down long borrows of light brown hair. She walked over to Jack and wiped her hand across his chest. Jack made a small, funny squeaking sound.

Jack: "No, no of course not. Umm… of course, we wouldn't let our most fragile passengers sleep on the floor, so I must tell you its policy for you to sleep in the captains quarters."

Howther: "Eww! No way!"

Ron: "Shut up Holly! Yes, I think we will sleep in the Captain's quarters."

Evans: "What! But, but, but he is smelly! And funky! And I bet he snores!"

Jack: "I do not!"

Ron: "You shut up to! No, We will sleep in the Captain's quarters," She said, circling him, "Since, as the kind Captain said we are so, 'Fragile', and so we know the strong and brave Captain Jack Sparrow will sleep…. With the sailors on the floor."

Jack: "What! No fucking way! Fine, you don't have to sleep in my cabin, your strong women, you can stand it."

The four smiled and came closer, preparing for the kill.

Evans: "No Jack, It would be much safer for us to be in your cabin since the pirates here are so fowl!"

Nat: **Walking around him and massaging his shoulders**- "And What if there is a storm! You wouldn't want us, wet, would you?"

Jack Started to moan, This was torture.

Howther: **Going to his side and rubbing his chest**- and what about the cold? Who would we go to too keep us warm?"

Jack started melting in their arms. Ron came up to him and kissed him (yet again!).

Ron: "You will let us stay in your Quarters."

Jack looked in her eyes with his, looking with sorrow and the need for help, he couldn't find it. He sighed, got away from them and said, "Alright, I'll sleep on the deck, you my have my quarters." He looked pained. "But First, tell me your real names, I don't to go around introducing you as Howther." They laughed.

Howther: "Very well, my name is Holly Cotswold and I'm what we call "The brains" of this group."

Evans: "I'm Eveangeline Martin, but everyone calls me Eve. I loved pirates all my life, and even though I'm hyper and random! I'm very good at it!"

Nat: "I'm Natalie Bramswig, and I know how to get what I want.. doing anything possible to make it happen!" Jack squeaked again.

Ron: "And I'm Rose, Rose Turner, The captain of this crew."

Jack's eyes widened and turned to look her up and down and straight in the face, trying to see a resemblance. Rose had blonde hair and big, wide blue eyes, nothing at all like Will. But looked at her again, more closely, and found in the eyes, they had the same spark as he does, and the way their face is built is very similar.

Rose: "What are you doing?"

Jack quickly looked her in the eye, almost frightening her.

Jack: "You don't happen to have a brother, do you?"

Rose: "Uh… yes, though I've never met him, half brother, we're about the same age, but his mother was a hooker in Tortuga, and mine was supposedly some wharf witch or something."

Jack was amazed. "Why did you choose this ship to come on?"

Natalie: "He father was on this boat, right?"

Jack: "And who was your father?"

Rose gave him a suspicious look, then turn and said "You may know him, though you look a bit young too have met him. Boot Strap Bill Turner."

Jack Fainted.


End file.
